That’s Right, I Wrote A Novel
Hello, prospective content consumer!
I’d like to
hawk you my book tell you about my comedic novel, Good Intentions.
It’s about an angel working at a heavenly bureaucracy that’s being “disrupted” by the smartphone revolution, and it contains many musings about how society is being ruined by a combination of our technologically-induced narcissism and a morally bankrupt professional-managerial class.
There’s also a character named Brucie, who’s a tree.
In any case, if you like my technical writing, then maybe you’ll like my creative writing. Please buy the book! (and read it, if you’re so inclined)
So Please Buy The Novel
Good Intentions is available at fine book stores everywhere, and by that, I mean Amazon. Only Amazon. Let’s all bow down to Amazon.
Blurb below if you’d like more information:
For eons, the heavenly bureaucracy THOROUGHGOOD1 has managed humanity’s affairs. From Politics to Natural Disasters, every domain of earthly life is overseen by a particular department.
Agent Zeke works in THOROUGHGOOD1‘s once preeminent department, Inspirations. Not that he has much to show for it. While Zeke’s résumé consists of cooking shows, true crime, and pornography, his colleagues have inspired humanity’s most renowned works of art, including Picasso’s Guernica, Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment, and Vince McMahon’s WrestleMania. Creations like these – and the sacred truths they contain – have helped humanity grow from a feeble-minded, weak-willed marsupial offshoot to one that’s at least occasionally ethical, and sometimes even selfless.
But times are changing.
The social media revolution has drowned the department’s work in endless feeds of relentlessly optimized content, most of which caters to humanity’s basest inclinations. This prompts G., the manic deity who leads THOROUGHGOOD1, to ditch the dream of human enlightenment in favor of a new one: complacency. He moves Inspirations under the Department of Technological Innovations, where it’s rebranded “Inspiration, Inc.” and given a new mandate: KEEP HUMANITY CONSUMING.
As the only member of his department with relevant (read: adult film) experience, Zeke is put in charge.
Thus, Zeke must choose: Will he abandon everything his department stands for to survive in the new online dispensation, or will he evolve beyond his humble pornographic origins and reassert his department’s mission when it’s needed most?
Spoiler: He chose incorrectly, and humanity is doomed. (Although you knew that already, didn’t you?)
ALTERNATIVE ALGORITHMICALLY-GENERATED BLURB PROVIDED BY AMAZON
In this scorching tell-all, Agent Zeke comes clean about everything: The secret origins of THOROUGHGOOD1; the sex lives of our most famous deities; and the bumbling missteps he took that landed us in our current cataclysmic predicament. One part confession, two parts apology, ten parts sizzlingly hot content, Zeke’s lament will burn up social media (a fact he’ll no doubt resent).